A life totally kippered and then made good again

this last week and a half has been something of a , well, not trail of fire, nor an epiphany as such, more like some horrible soul destroying surgery that was needed to help you heal  and reach your true destiny.  As some may well know I'm not just a magican, I work at a fabric shop called Fabric8 as well as sewing for myself and others. I had hopped one day to become a full time professional tailor or fashion designer and do magic on the side. Or more likely be a part time tailor and part time magician. All this whilst being disabled. Last wek I performed some rather good close up on the second night of the Leopold Thorn event (I was ill on the first night)., The following Sunday my world collapsed. A customer came to my home very unsatisfied with some work I did. IT turns out I had over stretched the lining when I pressed the garment (when I was ill). I was devastated. We parted company as friends and I as cheerful as I could be (not very) when it was pointed out even when I make something fantastic I worry  and stress about it. Tailoring wasn't making me happy any more, what is more after 10 years of making things here and there, never too much as I was  limited by what I could earn I STILL hadn't reached a point where I could support myself on my dressmaking. I simply couldn't put in the hours needed as my back could not take the strain, the pain caused by this was making me depressed and stressed without realising it.  IT was then pointed out that when I perform  magic I "become Alive" and sparkle. and so I decided at that point (with help from some wonderful people) that it was tie to close the chapter of my life dedicated to tailoring an become a full time magician.

  It's odd that deciding to dedicate myself to magic left me a little depressed. I LOVE magic but didn't want to give up one something I spent a lot of my life working on. I'll still use the skills I've  acquired though, just not for making regular clothes for customers. As if to reward me for making a tough choice the universe seems to have rewarded me. The benefits agency are helping me with the business side of things and 2 people contacted  to book me within moments of each other (one from seeing me perform at the Leopold Thorn gig). A local events management company has booked me as well and a disability charity are interested in my work. SO full steam ahead I feel. Every now and then I have to tell myself  I'm doing the right thing, that I'm not some pie in the sky fool dreaming of show business. BUT I think this really is the next logical step for me, and thanks to the support I've received from some great people I'm sure this will work out for me. Normal  less self obsessed blogging will resume shortly :)