That awkward stage

I'm at that awkward age. You know when your in your early teens and things a growing too fast and your clumsy. And you suddenly have knowledge of things such as women, but no idea on how to go about doing anything with them? Much like many other things I have studied I've reached a place where I can spot my mistakes very quickly, and I spot a lot of them. I've not gotten any worse as a card handler, I can just see what I'm doing wrong. Wrong is a rather big word for it really, I can see where I need improving. It's at this point many people give up but it's a useful tool in improving. This has happened before with regard to some slights (I may have mentioned it in the past) and each time I work through it I become a better magician. So the 'old school' approach is called for. This isn't a case of buying new books or props, nor is it some sort of self realisation meditation. it's, you guessed it practise.
On the subject of books. Is it so bad that I crave magic books to look just like that, MAGIC. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW what's inside is what's important. BUT I am a very large 5 year old, I like my things to be pretty and shiny. I recommended to a young lady who has just started contact juggling that she take the shiny pretty ball as she's more inclined to practise with it. It's the same with books and e, I love opening absolute magic, it looks like a magical tome, whilst Mark Wilson's course (The definitive magic book) looks like something form the kids department. I'm working through the Mark Wilson book and just dealing with the fact that the first bunch of tricks are just a little too simplistic for my audience. At least without giving major thought to presentation. So I'm not going to buy a new magic book for a few months BUT I am going to buy Derren Browns Confessions of a Conjurer. Apparently it's not so much an auto biography and more a stream of consciousness.